Thursday, September 29, 2011

Behind The Scenes With My Pirate King

Okay, it's not all glamour and face scrub at Casa da Pirate. If something is made by a branded company, or at least big enough to not give two farts what I think, I'll make wicked fun of them. it's a bit more sensitive when presented with handmade items by tiny companies. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because I'm a crafter and I know what pride people take in their work. In those cases, I'll just decline to review an item. No harm, no foul- right? It may just not be my thing, but that doesn't make it awful.

That doesn't mean that opinions aren't expressed within the household however, and my husband will pop out the most hysterical opines on products. I will NEVER tell you who he's referring to here (probably don't even remember), but there are times when he's made me almost cry with laughing.

"It smells like having sex in the herbal section at Whole Foods"
"It's what my scalp feels like if I haven't washed my hair in a week"  (please note- pirates go camping frequently, he bathes daily at home!)
"No! No! It smells like something that I don't want to be smelling!" (must flail arms)
"Maybe if you put a drop in a large aerated area and then it mellowed out...." "It's a perfume." "Oh, well that's a problem."
"I think something didn't go right here, and they were like F it, it's for a sampler. That's my new business plan."
And the one that so far holds the title:

"It smells like a trash can full of used menstrual pads that have been sitting about a week"

Pirates can be a mean spirited lot. What did you expect? (and note, some of the zingiest ones I have to keep to myself because it's too obvious who I might be referring to in the case of the 'punny' ones)

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